Monthly Archives: May 2013

G is for…..Guidance

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(Yah, so, this post DID NOT go in the direction I had planned when I thought of the topic “Guidance”, but after reading what I wrote, I wanted to share anyhow)

Guidance is such a simple act in life that can lead to either purity and goodness, or to dark imbalance. Guidance is the one thing I see lacking in our children today….and even within our own ranks as Grown Ups.

I don’t know how things were back in the good ‘ol days, but it feels as if there is a major disconnect between our Olders (not elders, just olders) and our younglings now more than ever I’ve heard stories about. My generation, the few ahead of us and the few behind us who have begun to procreate are seriously lacking in the guidance department of our children. It saddens my heart that we have bred laziness into ourselves over the last few decades so much so that we are literally raising each others children. Now, don’t get me wrong, I believe in the whole “it takes a community/tribe/street block to raise a child”….only to a point. It is not the responsibility of everyone else to teach morals and ethics to another’s offspring, and it’s an especially ugly situation when that parent decides to put you in your place for stepping out of line…..even though had they been a part of that child’s playtime and been guiding them to be kind and fair players the situation would not have unfolded.

Not only is there the lack of guidance that I see from parent to child, but then there is the ever-growing problem of MIS-guiding our youth, and even each other. To guide one is to mentor one, or to raise one, or to help one to mold themselves into whatever they are to become. But if you are coming from a jaded perspective then the result will be another jaded person. I’ve seen that there is not the act of guidance going on, but the act of self impintation onto others. The Ego overriding the Spirit.

I really think that what I’m talking about here is the difference between actually guiding someone, or helping them to find the path THEY choose, then helping them to stay on it; or even reevaluate and change if they feel the need…..and planting your own impressions on another and making sure they do not veer from YOUR idea or path you have chosen for them.

Guidance is not pointing the way out for another; it is allowing them the room to see ALL the choices and to make the decision on their own. This is even more true when you see someone going down the “wrong” path. You can’t always say that the path is wrong for them; it may end up being a tough journey, with many MANY obstacle in their way, but it just may be the path they NEED to be on. As a Guide/Mentor, it is only our “duty” to be there for them, to be their mirror so that they can make adjustments to their own itinerary, be there for them, love them through ever mistake they make and keep on encouraging them. Not admonish them for wrong doings, but talk with them and help them to see why their choice of action was wrong/hurtful/etc. It is never our jobs as a Guide to step in and make the decisions for them, or to dictate what to do and where to go.

If more people would learn what proper guidance was; Spirit-led not Ego-led, then I believe our society would become a more peaceful, responsible, and accepting place to live.

F is for……Faith or Belief?

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Do I have a Faith or a Belief?  Do I follow a Belief or a Faith?  Is it a Belief system or a Faith in?

To be honest, these questions have come up for me while working on myself over the past few years.  I feel I have grown so much recently that there just can’t be anymore to room to grow….but I constantly find there always is.  Many of my Self-Discovery/Motivational books I read talk about Faith and Belief.  Having belief in yourself enough to make things happen, and having faith that what you Will into your life will appear.

I’ll be honest though, these two words escape me much of the time.  They are very difficult for me to discern, separate.  By definition, they are SO VERY SIMILAR that I tend to want to use them interchangeably.  But they are different words, aren’t they?, with different meanings, huh?  Why else would they have two separate entries….right?

(from Webster’s dictionary online)

Definition of FAITH

1 a : allegiance to duty or a person : loyalty

   b (1) : fidelity to one’s promises (2) : sincerity of intentions

2 a (1) : belief and trust in and loyalty to God (2) : belief in the traditional doctrines of a religion

   b (1) : firm belief in something for which there is no proof (2) : complete trust

3 : something that is believed especially with strong conviction; especially : a system of religious beliefs       <the Protestant faith>

on faith

   : without question <took everything he said on faith>

Definition of BELIEF

: a state or habit of mind in which trust or confidence is placed in some person or thing

: something believed; especially : a tenet or body of tenets held by a group

3 :  conviction of the truth of some statement or the reality of some being or phenomenon especially    when based on examination of evidence

The more I struggle with the meanings and the differences in them, the more I realize you cannot have one without the other.  In my understanding of the two, you cannot have Faith without Belief.  Nowhere in the definition of Belief is there a need of Faith, but in the definition of Faith you must already hold a Belief.

 

Religiously speaking, belief would be the unwavering “trust”, infallible “knowing” that God/Spirit is there and will always be there; the state of mind that makes God/Spirit real to you.  But faith is the loyalty you have to God/Spirit even when you cannot hear them, see them, touch them, or even feel them.  Faith is the conviction you have that no matter the circumstances, you will always stand your ground.

I think it was very well explained on this blog I visited:

“What is belief? It is a principle, proposition, idea that is accepted as true; opinion, conviction; religious faith; trust or confidence. What is faith? It is the confident assurance in the character and nature of God; a strong or unshakeable belief in something, without proof or evidence.”……..“My faith says that God is good no matter the outcome of my situation. I believe that God can save the day. I believe that He can work miracles. My faith says that whether or not I follow Him will not be dependent on things working out to my benefit. It says that I will follow Him no matter what.”

It takes a belief to hold faith.

Belief in yourself is just as important; before you can have faith in yourself and always hold true to you…you must have a strong belief in who you are.

Once you are convinced or have conviction of who you are, then you can build the faith needed to always be your best friend and get out of your own way when it comes to building your dream life.  The hardest part of this all is finding the CORRECT beliefs about you.  It’s not an easy task…I know.  I’m not writing out my ass here, I’ve been there, I’ve walked it and I’m walking it still.  Believing in yourself actually is a very easy task; but it is the positive constructive, supportive beliefs that are so difficult to dig out and hold on to.  When you have the negative belief structure of who you are, you will always have faith in yourself to do no better than be the negative person you have grown to believe in.  Once positive and loving beliefs are put in place, then no matter how bad of a day you are having or how shitty things are in you life, you will always remain faithful in the fact that you are a gloriously wonderful person.

I chose this topic because faith is not just about religion or spirituality.  Faith is about you and the love you have for you. Just as the blogger stated …..“My faith says that God is good no matter the outcome of my situation.”, your faith should say that you are good no matter the outcome of your situation.

Learn to hold a great value and belief in you, the same you hold for your deity/ies; and so have faith in your inherent good and beauty just as you have faith in your God/s, or else you would not follow them so lovingly and loyally.

Bibliography;

nhamil75, blogcritic.org, Faith vs Belief,  http://blogcritics.org/culture/article/faith-vs-belief/

http://www.merriam-webster.com/dictionary/belief

http://www.merriam-webster.com/dictionary/faith

 

E is for…..Elderly v. Elders

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This entry will be more of my own personal opinion/observation rather than anything “lesson based” or whatever….it may not even be of any true value, but I want to express this nonetheless.

SO, yes, I am quite a bit behind in my entries…Im nowhere near as good at keeping up with these as I thought I would be, but Im hangin in at least. LOL

I think I struggle most because I stress about what the hell to write and all. I look at the screen and my mind goes blank; so blank it’s as if I never read a word in my life and so have no words to share. The Pagan Blog Project I was hoping would help me overcome this horrible writers block I tend to suffer from, but to be honest, the prompts each week are almost more daunting and intimidating than just winging it. It’s so funny, I can sit and “think” a BOOK into existence with great detail, but the second I sit to write my thoughts down they become as intangible as steam from a boiling tea kettle. It gets quite frustrating. The more I TRY to write, the harder it becomes (duh!!) and the more I live in my “dream author” state the more irritable I become. I’ve been stuck for quite some time and had given up (temporarily) on any more entries for now….so it came as some shock when my next blog entry not only popped in my head and wrote itself into existence, but that it SCREAMED at me to get it down on paper….

I was sitting in Logan’s Roadhouse with my daughter on Saturday waiting for our lunch to come. We don’t really get much mommy daughter time just because she’s either playing with her friends or Im “too busy”…..never a good enough reason to not make time for your kids…NEVER. So, anyway, we were having a good day out. I was teaching her how to play rummy with little miniature cards she got from Burger King I don’t know HOW long ago (considering I refuse to eat there anymore), when three people came in a sat down at the table beside us. It was a Gentleman, his Wife and their Mother (don’t know who’s, but they both called he mom). I simply took note and went back to playing cards with my daughter.

It was a few minutes later when they ordered their food that for some reason my attention was turned to them, I think it was something about how the Man teased his Mom about being a “big eater” when all she ordered was a baked potato. The giggle the three shared and the wink he sent to his mom touched me. Then I had this overwhelming need to text my husband and tell him how I was feeling at that very moment…. I felt Love, Admiration, Respect, Honor, Gentility all from observing this couple with their Mother. I told my husband that I hoped we were raising our children in a way that they would love and honor us the same way when we were in that position.

I looked around the restaurant and noticed that over 80% of the patrons were younger generations. There was one elderly couple who walked in before us; the woman slumped over scooting her feet; husband holding her hand tightly to support her while also bearing some of her weight on his feeble thin body. And there was a table of Elderly women sitting together enjoying their lunch and companionship of each other, and maybe one or two other tables. But I began to wonder, where are our Elderly?

On the way home my brain wondered about this observation and the question Elders v. Elderly?, popped into my head. In some circles of our related faiths, I at 32 years of age could be considered an Elder within the community. (I am not nor do I claim to be an Elder either) But, because of my knowledge, my skill, my experience, some may consider me an Elder….and at 32. Why do I put an emphasis on my age when I say this? Because, I feel the terms and respect given to both groups are greatly misjudged, misused and underappreciated.

My definitions: Elderly are the old ones who have lived life and have stories to tell,
experiences to share;
Elders are Wise Ones who have lived life and have lessons to teach, ;

To be an Elder in many religious paths is to be one who holds a “higher” position, or one who has practiced for more thnt a few years. They are one who have become a leader in their community and have gained wisdom with growth and experience. In essence they have done their due time….

These Elders are given great amounts of respect, honor and at times great loyalty. They are listened to, sought out for advice, turned to in matters of “crises” and so on.

Yet, our Elderly are shamed, hidden and locked away as if we as a society fear their deadly disease called Aging.

It is sad to me that those who are considered Elders can, at times, be SO VERY YOUNG. Yes, they may be a powerful young Witch; or have strong leadership skills; or created their own traditions that are thriving and growing by leaps and bounds…..but do they truly deserve to be called Elder? Have they lived the life and racked up the experience points to truly KNOW? I don’t believe so. While we have very wonderfully vivacious, strong leaders who are needed in our communities and in our society, where have they done the work and gained the WISDOM to be considered an Elder? They have not. I have not. I’ve lived a life full of many MANY experiences which have helped me to grow and become more wise everyday. I’ve lived through situations only a few here in our country can relate to; I’ve learned from these experiences; I’ve gained knowledge and skill……but I am not a Wise One who has earned their status as an Elder.

Im not saying all Ederly would be considered Elders either; …..but I do believe our Elderly deserve more love, appreciation and respect. One day, whether we are ever looked to as a Wise One or not, we will all become Elderly and I wish not to be locked away and forgotten as if I had some venereal disease that can be caught by breathing the air I breathe.